How to identify emotional abusive relationships

Now let us define EMOTIONAL ABUSE. I will be giving 3 definitions.

Let us thoroughly understand what we are talking about.

1.) Emotional abuse, distinct from physical violence (including shoving, cornering, braking and throwing things, etc.), is speech and/or behavior that is derogating, controlling, punishing, or manipulative. Withholding love, communication, support, or money are indirect methods of control and maintaining power. Passive-aggressive behavior is covert hostility. The passive-aggressor is "a wolf in sheep's clothing."

2.) Emotional abuse can be generally defined as using manipulation, fear, intimidation, and guilt (among other things) to control someone and undermine their self-confidence and sense of autonomy. The reason it causes so much confusion is that it can be subtle, elusive and insidious. People often do not realize it is happening, no matter how smart, capable or self-aware they are.

Behavior or attitude that is designed to control, subdue, punish, or isolate another person through the use of humiliation or fear.

These 3 definitions thorough expatiate what emotional abuse is

Most times, it’s always difficult to identify emotional abuse in a relationship because there is no physical assault. Often times, the emotionally abusive relationships are more subtle, it'll start out wonderful, great, and fabulous, and the problems evolve very slowly* over time so that it gets worse and worse and worse, and each time you're getting more adapted to the negative patterns so that it gets more difficult to see as well as to leave.

"There's this story that if you toss a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will scramble to get out. But if you put the frog in the water while the water is still cold and slowly raise the temperature, the frog will just sit there until it is boiled to death. This is the same kind of thing that happens in emotionally abusive relationships."

Now, let’s see 15 Major signs or red flags of an emotionally abusive relationship.  Please, when you see any of these signs, take to your heels and FLEE... as in... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

The major signs of emotionally abusive relationships may seem like really different types of behavior, but they produce the same kind of hurt.

There are actually more than that... but most of them are grouped under these major ones.

Control: This is the father of them all. If the other items in this list are the building blocks of emotional abuse, then control is the keystone holding them all together. *Often, an abuser's underlying motivation is the intent to control his or her victim, whether overtly (policing and restricting day-to-day routines and relationships) or subtly (taking small jabs to undermine independence and self-esteem).

Goading: In a healthy relationship, your partner recognizes your insecurities —and respectfully steers clear. But in a relationship with emotional abuse, you might find that your partner exploits your weaknesses and knows just how to push your buttons. By undermining your composure and causing you to feel unhinged, the abuser exposes your weaknesses, making it easier for them to establish dominance.

Yelling: We all raise our voices from time to time, but if the majority of disagreements devolve into a shouting match, particularly if it causes you to shrink and wince, then that's a red flag. Not only does yelling make it nearly impossible to have a productive conversation, it creates an imbalance of power as only the loudest person is heard.

Intimidation: Any act that causes a person to feel threatened, meek, or fearful of harm or injury can fall under the umbrella of intimidation. This includes (but isn't limited to) yelling, aggressive gestures, destruction (throwing a glass, punching a wall, etc.), displaying weapons, or threatening the livelihood of the victim or someone close to them.

Criticism: "Being hypercritical, belittling, calling people names, all of those things" are forms of criticism. This sign also emerges when your partner focuses on attacking your character or quality rather than the action or behavior that was bothering you.

Contempt: If there is contempt in a relationship, it's pretty impossible to "get your needs met… and you're going to spend your life feeling hurt." Some examples of contempt include mean-spirited sarcasm, arrogance, disgust, and apathy. Of course, sarcasm can come up in a playful way too, so ask yourself, Is it done with affection, or is it really done to hurt the other person?

Are we following? I’m trying to be fast so that we can keep to time.

Excessive Defensiveness: "If you constantly feel like you have to defend yourself, or your partner feels like they're constantly put on the defensive, then basically all you're having is negative communication.

Threats: These coercive if-then statements can include blackmail, threats of physical harm or suicide, or other intimidating remarks, but they often share the same intent: to back the victim into a corner and prevent him or her from escaping the relationship.

Blame: You are manipulated to believe that you are the cause of—and therefore deserving of—their abuse and unhappiness, which makes breaking the cycle that much more difficult. This is further compounded when you feel shame or embarrassment that you have "allowed" the abuse to occur.

Isolation: Emotional abuse is pervasive; it affects all areas of a victim's life, most notably his or her relationships with friends and family. Victims of emotional abuse are manipulated to believe that no one understands them as well as their abuser, or that no one cares. This physical and mental alienation may cause the victim to feel as though he or she is living on an island, far removed from loved ones and past versions of themselves.

Guilt: Feelings of excessive guilt can make for powerful shackles. Emotional abuse may cause you to feel as though you are to blame for the state of the relationship, or that you are the cause of your partner's behavior.

I will leave it at these points because of our time.

Now, if you are in a relationship and you have been noticing any of the above signs, please, I strongly advise and plead with you to GET OUT!!!

It’s never too late to leave an abusive relationship. You need to love yourself enough to stop taking the assault. Your abuser does not worth you sticking in the relationship. You deserve better.

Let me quickly run through on "How to leave an emotionally abusive relationship"

If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship;

The first thing I would advise you to do is see a Relationship Counselor. If you don’t have access to any, then you can:

1.) Ask yourself the same questions you will ask a friend. "Look around and find a relationship that's something you can imagine yourself wanting.

I think having a picture of what should happen" is a good place to start realizing that you want something else out of a relationship that you are not getting from your current partner. I'm not suggesting that you compare yourself to "idealistic movie relationships that don't match real people's experiences."

Instead, think of "real people who really struggle with each other and who really work on things together."

In Conclusion, Indeed, part of realizing that this is not the relationship you want and deserve "it is just knowing what constitutes a healthy relationship and how it should make you feel about yourself."

If you are not sure, always remember that "a relationship should make you feel better about yourself.

It should make you feel secure, supported, connected, and if that's not what you're getting, you're probably getting more pain than" love and growth and that’s enough reason to GET OUT!!!