Purpose-Driven Relationship

There is a common saying that "when the purpose of a thing isn't known, abuse is inevitable.

Many make plans for weddings without a deep understanding of the whole essence and purpose of that marriage, well they could be in the line of the people who wish they knew better.

This isn't a religious group, but at the same time, we can't rule out the "ONE" who established marriage and said it's not good that man be alone, I'll make for him an HELP-MEET


There is a common saying that "when the purpose of a thing isn't known, abuse is inevitable.

Many make plans for weddings without a deep understanding of the whole essence and purpose of that marriage, well they could be in the line of the people who wish they knew better.

This isn't a religious group, but at the same time, we can't rule out the "ONE" who established marriage and said it's not good that man be alone, I'll make for him an HELP-MEET

If you don't know who you are, your strength and weakness, your vision, what you really do want and have passion for!, You might really not enjoy relationship, forget about the butterflies in the tummy kind of feeling

I do not know how many of us have watched the movie called "Gbemi", it defines Relationship!


You can't marry/ or be in a relationship with everyone who has the same purpose as you do or same belief as you, that is why I keep saying, Purpose isn't an event or platform, it is an everyday living.

Having a relationship that involves Purpose (True definition of it!) keeps the relationship moving.

Many might have questions to say, how will I now know whom exactly since I want a Purpose-driven relationship?

*Does he/she have the same passion for the purpose/vision you have?

Not all pastor's wives are the same, not all motivational speakers wife or husband are the same

If you don't know how you're wired and how your partner is wired, a lot of things might go on in the relationship.

Most ladies love the fun part more but let's be reminded that passion is very powerful but if all that builds the passion is just the "I love you" or "let's go out and have fun", the passion will die a natural death.

Passion cannot hold the marriage; it has to have the substance of purpose to do that.

I have come to realize that couples, who have things doing together, are usually more in love with each other than couples who are just in love for the sake of feelings.

[If you do not have anything to offer as a partner, you might basically be just a distraction to your spouse.

Couples who are pursuing a selfless endeavor (impact in any way to the society or those around them), usually have the capacity to care and commit themselves more to their partners than couples who are just self-absorbed.

Why do two have to come together to bring up a nation?

Ponder on it.

Relationship is not just to flaunt on social media, visit every tourist center! No, there is more to why you are together as a couple.

You cannot be the best friend to your partner if you do not share a deep purpose together.

It might hurt but it is the truth.

When you share deep purpose together, there is always something to keep the communication going!

I do not like talking about myself when I teach unlike the person I am in a relationship with, but I think I'll copy his style tonight.

The person I'm with is a personal development coach and a very good relationship counselor, he does more but let's stop here, I looked at what I do with what he does and its interrelated, now when we talk about our future together, he brings out programs he wants to do for my own platform! Why? Because there is something we share together, in the same line but in unique ways*

We always have things to talk about and I always have things to say concerning what he does also.

You do not have to be a pastor because your husband is one except it’s your calling too, you might be a teacher and still flow well in his purpose or calling.

Let your relationship be defined! That is the standard

I have once taught on a topic that took me a whole month to teach, Activities in courtship, a lady gifted me with the book and I took time to summarize to a group.

Passion in a relationship lasts only as Purpose last.

Purpose fuels your relationship, when the consciousness of why you're together is established, you'll both look together to being together forever and doing things together

There won't be jealous of who is making it more or not, cause it’s a goal for you both

If you're being insecure about who you're with, check the purpose tank.

What have you failed to carry out together?

As a woman, watch the man you follow, if he's moving in a direction you have no interest in, you might become a hindrance to him, vice versa.

Not everything is bad eye looking at your relationship.

Purpose helps your relationship stand the test of time.

Can I tell us my NYSC story, how many people do I have here tonight.

Therefore, during service, as a young fine lady, you know I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, I met so many brothers, it got to a point my friends had to ask if I'm using charm.

Therefore, these brothers kept coming with gifts, food and I'm like the brother, I'm not interested to come and be going I don't want your gifts either.

Beau wasn't surprised as he knew a lot will be going on, hmmm so there was this particular brother that was bent in my case, I first thought hmm brotherly is nice and can give good advice, people loved listening to him which made us close, we gist and talk about life.

Not every counselor is yours oooh!

We enjoyed moments together as we talked a whole lot together, then I started weighing what I do with what he does but I just could not see a place I fitted in.

I went back home for Christmas and there was this aura when I was around beau and I said this exactly is my place, we went for a program together and I kept saying this is the picture, this is me, this is where I truly fit in.

You cannot fit everywhere! Not every motivational speaker/Pastor/teacher/businessman can be yours

A purpose-driven relationship is lightened by you and your partner, what you can both do perfectly together!

Any relationship that is merely a product of emotions alone can never stand the test of time when it faces trials.

You will have lots of distraction but the reasons why you are in the relationship will make you stand strong.

That is why a relationship without purpose can be tossed back and forth.

Purpose purifies your relationship, when you do not stand for something, you will likely fall for everything!

Once your hormones/erection defines how you run the relationship, purpose will go sit down somewhere very far.

To discuss meaningful things will lose their value because all you'll ever have time to talk about is how good he or she is on bed and how you want more.

Tonight I want us to ask ourselves, you can make it a discussion with your partner also!

Do you have a well-defined relationship?

Where is your relationship heading?

What are the common dreams you and your partner share together?

What could bring you together after many years of being together and you both will be happy doing?

Picture your achievements together in the next 5 or 10 years?

What are you expecting in your marriage, what would it offer to you, him/her/family/society?

REMEMBER; "A good marriage doesn't happen by accident, it must be purpose-driven to enjoy being fulfilled.

I talked about having an interest in what your partner does and he also had an interest, it’s not compulsory you know it all as he/she does, but a clue is needed!

There are so many situations I will state now, remember again the purpose is not an event but an everyday thing.

Now do not mistake career as Purpose as we have many people who have both.

If you like entertaining visitors and helping the homeless but your partner finds it annoying, there will be issues! But your own purpose is to care for people and he/she loves it too and knows how to handle such situations it is also fulfilling purpose together.

When I talk about purpose, do not think about only those who hold a microphone to talk.

What can be done is a face-to-face discussion with your partner, talk things through, funny enough you could find one thing you both love doing since you are still together, nothing beats a healthy communication.

The reason why you and I have to voice out, it could be in our neighborhood, family, church, school (if you're a teacher), youths like having discussions it could be thrown once in a time, my brother even though he feels I'm talking too much I make sure I push words into him, we are all humans, one day it will be useful to them!

When I'm not at home, he uses those words I tell him to my parents or share them during devotionals, they might act like they're not listening but we mustn’t get tired of teaching them at every opportunity we get.

A purpose-driven relationship, I am sure by now you must have been aware of is that relationship that has a purpose from the very beginning and this reason is what drives every one of their actions.


Let me quickly say this to us all the purpose of every relationship matters, a man who is yet to discover his or her purpose is not worth entering into a relationship else the relationship will have no defined purpose and at that, it has a default purpose with is to break someone's heart.

Now the question has it that you would like me to explain how purpose-driven relationship that cut across spiritual, physical and in fact all aspect of life.

Let me start by saying this, the purpose of a relationship needs to be defined.

Before this can be decided, a proper check on every possible aspect of life must be checked else one might end up either enduring or enjoying the relationship.

Again, every aspect of life must be checked. What do I mean by running a check?

A purpose-driven relationship checks the relationship standards of both parties, if over spirituality is a challenge for you, and then try to talk it out before you go too far, some do not like a partner who has no flair for spirituality.

Even the dress sense too, it has to be all thrashed out.

Until you are sure you can and you are ready to go spend your life with his/her spiritual standards, then you are good to go. Do not go try to say he/she will change later. Any change he/she doesn't change now won't change later.

As per physical wellbeing and health, I am sure we know that in Nigeria, no one will advise SS to date or marry SS as this is a disaster about to happen, or AS with AS! Before your relationship journey go too far.

Compatibility on every side needs to be checked, also to check if there are diseases that run in the family and if your faith can stay there.

Like I taught, if you are in a relationship, the partner must be ready to support your dream, do not go into a relationship with someone who is not ready to be your cheerleader.

Do not marry the one who despises your work, do not date someone whose aspirations are to get a full-time housewife whereas you want to be a career woman.

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