Love and Sex
We have various types of love which I might not want to bore us with.
love is a feeling that has to do with our emotions.
What then is sex?
Sex means Sexual Intercourse.
The truth is that we can't afford to be shy if we want to discuss this matter extensively. Sex means Sexual interaction, usually involving vaginal and/or anal and/or oral penetration, between at least two organisms.
It is originally meant to between between husband and wife....but today we have lots of perverse definition.
From this definition which is correct but I will still explain more we can see that a person doesn't have sex with himself.
We can also see that sex was indeed created by the creator.
Sex is a process that involves the coming together of two people to share Intimacy with their genitals.READ MORE
Sex is supposed to be between two opposite sex but we discover recently that it is not so. If it doesn't involve the genitals it can't be called sex. It therefore means that the manhood and the womanhood must be involved.
Why are we talking about love and sex?
Let me give you a sneak peek about my life.
Growing up was amazing, I remembered the first boyfriend I had. The reason why we kissed was because of his friends.
Who teased him and said he wasn't man enough to do it.
What we want to establish as I am trusting that the creator will help me is to explain why we shouldn't go into sex before marriage.
Do you know that having sex at the wrong time can destroy the purpose of a man.
Now I understand that we have people from different religion on this platform but be it as it may there is no religion that support having sex before the bride price is paid.
If our creator in all His wisdom can say no to a thing do you think that doing it is profitable?
Let's leave our religion out. Does our culture support having multiple sex partners before marriage?
So why should we be involved in what our culture also frowns at. Do you also realized that sex has the tendency of cutting the life of a person short?
I was told and I hope the information is true that what joins the right brain and the left brain together is a portion called CEREBRUM.
What this cerebrum does is to ensure that the right brain does what it is expected to do so also the left brain. Many people use this cerebrum for pornography, sex, etc, that cerebrum can do much more than you think of.
So what is in our brain that ought to make us think, dream about our purpose is use to produced orgasm and sperm.
So even your body doesn't also appreciate sex outside marriage.
Now I know that most of us involved in it loves sex. We don't need to be shy about it.
But I am sure that many of us know that it isn't good to have sex if we aren't married.
I don't want you to see me like I am preaching like a saint. It took the grace of the creator to stop.
And guess what?
There is a major difference in my life now and when I was involved in it. I think I have tasted both sides and I see the difference.
I feel when the purpose a thing is not known,abuse is inevitable.The essence of a relationship is to end in a relationship.
Unfortunately many people just enter into it for wrong reasons and end up with sex before marriage since there is no defined direction
I believe women can stay longer without having sex than men.
- Are you trying to say that those who refrain from sex even at marriage tends to live longer?
This has to do with self discipline. It also has a lot to do with how the body has been trained.
Although I must also state clearly here that men fall Into this temptation because they are aroused by what they see why a lady is moved by what she hears
What does this implies?
If a lady doesn't hear sweet words for 5 years she might not be aroused and if a guy doesn't see an arousing subject he might not be aroused.
80 percent of youth are into sex game, some Married men are not helping issues as they are involved in such practices with our youth. This is really bad.
When you are married, your mind and brain is already relaxed because you have sex at your disposal.
You don't need to pretend about it
Your psychological being is calm and you even become more productive than in your single years.
Sex among couples apart from boosting bond in couples. It's increases one's lifespan. Sex boosts one's health as well as longevity. Many doctors and health professionals encourage it among couples to live longer.
Please I would want to lay emphasis that whenever I use the word sex in its negative form, it is when a person is not married.
Sex is good
Sex is a beautiful thing
The point at which you climax or reach organsm is one of the wonderful experience you can ever have in this world.
But it must be done in the confine of marriage where the creator is very pleased with you.
Love is not feeling
Love is more than feeling.
Love is a personality that has a feeling and an attributes.
1Cor.13:1-8 enumerate the attributes of Love
Though Love means different thing to several people based on their values, interest and personality.
There are several kinds of Love.
1. Agape Love: this is the sacrificial and unconditional love. The God's kind of love.
2. Phileo Love: this is the friendship kind of love, where you love someone because they are like minds and you share similar interests.
3. Storge Love: this is the natural love or affection found in blood related family such as Mother to child, father to child, brother to sister and vice versa.
4. Eros Love: this is the romantic, passionate, sexual or erotic love.
When we are discussing Love and Sex we refer to the Erotic love, because...
One can't feel like having sex with the opposite sex just because of agape love, Phileo love or Storge love, but because of Eros Love.
Some have defined love has choice because you can choose to love someone or not to love someone.
Many have also confused Love for Infatuation or Lust or Attraction (Crush).
Many young people feels love is a feeling. The reason why it is not just a feeling is because Crush and Lust are also feeling too. And they are normal.
Many young people who have this feelings think they love the person and make a decision based on that and later get disappointed.
The difference between Love and Lust is that
Love grows with time, while Lust dies with time.
Love is after what it can give while Lust is after what it can get.
Love is patient while Lust is not.
Love is sacrificial while Lust is selfish.
There are more...
You can always know if someone truly loves you from this attributes of love.
Our focus on love and sex is centralized on erotic love which has been said above to be Eros love.
Since Love is not sex, why do some people require sex as a proof of love?
Well, sex involves one using the most intimate and private part of the body. It is perceived by many that the hallmark of love is to allow one's partner access to this parts. And at this point, there seems to be little or nothing to hide again. This is the ideology of many. "If you love me, give me your body". However, it's been flawed too many times. So we all know it is NOT absolutely correct.
I have been asked this question so many times and I have come to realize that it can be because of the following reasons
1) Lack of understanding of what love really is
2) misunderstanding of one's purpose in life
3) Lust to be assumed to be Love
4) misappropriation of priority
5) lack of knowledge ( remember the only thing that can cheat us in life is what we have no knowledge of because knowledge is power)
6) anxiety to experience sex
7) just for the fun of it
Remember I said love is a feeling, and the people involved might just want to be involved sexually to cement that feeling which is absolutely wrong if they are not yet married. It is absolutely wrong if not married.
It is also assumed that once sex is involved, there won't be secrets among them again.
Our parent have been married for so many years yet some of them keep secrets from each other.
I would also want to state clearly here that God is not against sex.
But it must be done in the confine of marriage.
Why is premarital sex wrong?
It is wrong for so many reasons. I would try as much as I can to summarize it.
1) It clot your judgement
2) It clots your reasoning
3) It weakens you
4) you become biased in decision taken
5) you start carrying burdens that naturally wouldn't have been yours if you didn't involve in sex
6) if you are not careful it can limit your growth
7) there is no security with the person you are having that sex with that you will end up being married together
8) you begin to build soul ties where it is really not needed
9) uncertainty comes in
10) you can't fly high as you ought to do because distraction has set in.