The place of purpose in relationships
Human beings are social and sentimental beings.
Relationships in our lives is a fundamental need, we have been created like that.
Kelly Benamati wrote "Relationships show us how to love and be loved, as well as whom we want to be on life and who we don't. Having serious trusting relationship allows us to truly be our true selves.
Who kind of relationship do you want?
Relationship could be in many forms Family, Friendship or Business among others.
What is relationship?
Relationship is a connection or association. The condition of bring related.
It could also mean a way in which two or more people behave and are involved with each other
And what is purpose?
Purpose is defined as an object to be reached, a target; an aim; a goal; an intention.
So we could say the place of purpose in a relationship can be likened to Goals, Aims, and Intention of a relationship
Why do we need relationship anyways?
Human beings are social and sentimental beings.
Relationships in our lives is a fundamental need, we have been created like that.
Kelly Benamati wrote "Relationships show us how to love and be loved, as well as whom we want to be on life and who we don't. Having serious trusting relationship allows us to truly be our true selves
Who kind of relationship do you want?
READ MORERelationship could be in many forms Family, Friendship or Business among others
However, whatever type of relationship it is, it must be purposeful i.e. it must have a target, an aim
Relationship purpose differs, for some it is for fun, fame, pleasure, companionship, for some it's for fulfillment while for some it's strictly for business.
So my question here is.... When we get into any relationship at all, what goals do we plan to achieve?
It is important to know that a relationship without purpose is like a building without foundation
Some of the relationship does not lead to marriage, and some will still lead to marriage..... And so on
If you don't get your purpose right before entering into any relationship, Short term or long term... Then you are doomed...you are done for.
Before entering into any relationship therefore, there are certain things you must know......
*you must know yourself
*You must understand yourself
*You most discover yourself
And most importantly, you must love yourself.
Let me analyze this as a musician.....
As a musician, you must know your lyrics.... Master your lines....know your right key and sing the song perfectly by yourself
Getting into a relationship is like getting a backup singer for your song
All a backup singer does is basically to compliment the song you as the soloist can sing perfectly by yourself
All we do for each other in a relationship is complement each other’s life which eventually completes who you really are
You don't come into a relationship to discover yourself..... NO....
You do that way back before entering.....
Little wonder why a lot of people get disappointed early in marriage, they enter into it with all the wrong intentions. Intentions such as...
I am not happy alone. I need someone in my life to be happy.....
I need love; I can only get that in my partner after marriage.
These are wrong... So wrong
You should know that you are the sole agency for your happiness, and then you can now become the complimenting agency for others
We are first of all meant to be there for ourselves i.e. Itunu is always there for Itunu so if no one else is, I'm still fine.
It is making sure I am taking full responsibility for my emotional needs and well-being and then investing in others
In a nutshell, practicing love of self and others certainly makes life a little richer (note the "richer", a step above "rich" which you must have being) and that's probably enough reason
In order to show love to others, you need to love yourself first. *Self-love* "Love your neighbor as yourself" is what the scripture says.
Many people don't know how to love others because they don't have that love in them.
Let me summarize all I've been saying before we proceed......
The purpose of your relationship should be...
Practicing love of self and then others, remember "love your neighbor as YOURSELF"*
Enjoy life together while complimenting each other.
A lot of us have had our "already designed" purpose; outlined to suit us when we get into a relationship
Let me shock you by saying: *one way to be happy in a relationship is to use the relationship for their intended purpose not for our designed purpose*
Relationship calls you to express a higher version of you. It will definitely be challenging, but it's worth a try because really, no man is an island on his own.... We all need people (others) to survive... We need relationships to thrive and bring out the shine in us
Most relationships fail, (in actual sense, relationship never truly fail, except in the strict human sense that they did not produce what you want, they did not meet your designed purpose) they fail because they were entered into for the very wrong reasons
Most people get into a relationship with an eye and a mind towards what they can get out of them, rather than what they can put into them
The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to "show up", not part of another you can capture and hold.
I have come to discover that there can only be one purpose for relationship and for all life and that is to be and to decide who you really are.
You have to discover the you in you
The purpose of a relationship is therefore not to have another who might complete you; rather it is to have another with whom you might share your completeness.
Finally, the purpose of a successful relationship depends on how much of you (time, talent, treasure) you are willing to give out to keep the relationship alive and strong.
People believe relationships are meant to compliment them and make up their weaknesses.
Instead Relationships reveals your weaknesses more.
To love is nothing, to be loved is something: but to love and to be loved, that's everything T. Tolis.
COLLAPSEQuestion 1:
What do you advice those in a relationship for the wrong purpose and find it hard to leave because they both have history together?
Answer:
If it's married couple, then keep perching as God hate divorce
But if it's courting couple, I'd like them to remember that your purpose drives you to your destiny but your history together is already in the past
Question 2:
I used to think relationship is to compliment each other's weakness as no one is perfect...isn't that the case?
Answer:
As long has the relationship has not been sealed, Knowledge is power. It's known by them that it's for the wrong purpose.... Just get out of it and be ready to tread a new path to your destiny
We complement each other in a relationship but what I'm driving at is that strive to know your strength and your weakness. Appreciate both parts of you.... Work on your strength and your weakness.
Yes... Relationship is meant to compliment you but you have to work on your weaknesses first and be *'Single' 'whole'* first, or else you will ruin the relationship with your weaknesses such as anger, laziness, unforgiveness, nagging, pride, self-centeredness, low self-esteem, and so on.