Relationship with In-laws in marriage
As we all know in-laws result from marriage, and they include the siblings or relatives of your marriage partner. The moment you choose your spouse, your in-laws are automatically determined.
There are so many myths and beliefs about in-laws. In fact, in this part of the world (Nigeria), there's this mutual suspicion of other's actions, gestures even when it is motivated or of good intentions.
Also, there is this old age long myth about difficulties mother in law creates for their daughter-in-law In marriages.
Couples sometimes create opportunities for in-laws when they cannot resolve their differences privately or personally and expose their spouse weaknesses to their parents or relations either intentionally or unintentionally.
Relationship with in-laws could be healthy or unhealthy. An unhealthy relationship can develop when in-laws interfere or exert influence on a family.
In some cultures, wives are seen as slaves or acquired property so she is expected to be subject to even the last in the family.
This makes a couple especially a woman to have a highly critical and suspicious spirit with resentment of their In-law. I have heard ladies say I don't won't have a mother-in-law forgetting they will be mother in law someday.
Some parent are also expert over possessiveness or overprotection forgetting that even the bible states that a man should leave his parent’ house and cleave to his wife gen 2:24 and gen 31: 26-29
READ MOREI once read a story about a man who complained bitterly about his mother-in-law who visits them unexpectedly and unannounced. He has complained severally to the wife but no changes and it has begun to affect his relationship with his wife and even the mother In-law.
Some in-laws even plant informants and dependant relations or house help as spies
It is the husband or wife's duty to educate in-laws and protect his or her spouse where necessary.
Demonstrate a United home. Please avoid revealing your family secrets or weakness in an attempt to please In-laws.
Do not confront or accuse your in-laws. They are wounds that will never heal you can discuss with its spouse who will assume responsibility of sorting things out with his or her relation.
Trust me ...That you and your In-law share the same religion does not guarantee a problem-free relationship
If you have an in-law that shares a different religion with you. You will be making a great error by judging their actions with their religious beliefs.
Even my Bible says follow peace with all men. Now there are also healthy relationship like I said earlier
It is absolutely wrong to conclude that in-laws have no role to play in marriage.
I know this is not a religious group but permit me to cite these examples in the bible.
Gen. 17:13 Noah sheltered his son and daughter-in-law during the flood
Ex. 18:14-24 Moses received a godly counsel from his father-in-law.
Ruth 1:16-17 & 4:15-16 Naomi and Ruth expressed a divine pattern of wife, mother-in-law relationship
The couples are in charge; hence, anyone under your roof must comply with the acceptable norms In your home, no matter the status.
Make full disclosure to your spouse the extent of your material and financial commitment to dependant relatives to avoid the issue of trust. Determine to have a very cordial relationship with your in-laws even before marriage.
Have a positive assumption about your in-laws. Do not entertain any fear instead of demonstrating love.
Disclose to your spouse during courtship your key in-laws and their dispositions it would assist your partner in avoiding conflicts even before he or she comes to understand them.
Sincerely I have lived with in-laws and even now my in-laws are living with me, of course, there might be little misunderstanding they are really resolvable once u have a good heart towards them
In conclusion, you are fully responsible for your home (husband & wife). Never compromise or take sides with in-laws at the detriment of your own family.
Nobody is an island. You are an in-law somehow to someone. As you wish someone to treat you do likewise to your in-laws.
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